Wafflings

It’s the new year – for some reason it’s seen as the momentous time when we look back at the 365 days past and review and look forward to the next 365 – and so the 1st day in January becomes loaded with meaning, sometimes regrets and a whole bunch of expectations for what the new year will hold.  That’s a whole lot of pressure for a regular ol’ day!

I felt the weight of that last night, with 2009 ebbing to a close and the door creaking open on 2010.  I felt fear and uncertainty…I struggled with doubt which was crushing the little bit of hope I was trying desperately to hold on to.  Before I fell asleep in the wee hours of 2010 I’d realised that I do have a choice as to what I will bring with me into the next year…or even the next day.  Choosing joy, life, hope and love may involve work – but the inertia that comes through the paralyzing fear is not where I want to be.

I think Donald Miller has it right when he talks about choosing to live a good story (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years is a great book if you haven’t already discovered it)…and I think that does sum up my resolution today – I want to live a story, something that is moving somewhere, where the protagonist takes chances to achieve the desired goal and is changed in the process…I want choose each day to embrace those things that are good and maybe in moving forward I’ll step by step get further from this crippling self-doubt.  I’ve made some of those choices through my story so far, though I may have let go of some of the things I value in the struggle that is life – it’s time to pick back up.

That’s my commitment – to a journey and a story – and to keep on making that commitment as I know only too well that the 1st of January isn’t some magical day when resolutions are to be made.  It may be when some of them are started or articulated, but the commitments need to be renewed on a daily rather than yearly basis! (at least for me!!)

So, 2010, that’s all I got for you on this day.  You’re arrival didn’t surprise me, but I’m hoping there may be some surprises along the way!